While on our first big family holiday (and my first trip to Queensland) we did all sorts of things. Everyday involved some form of swimming, whether it was in the gorgeous pool where we were staying, overlooking the stunning Airlie Beach or snorkeling during our day trips with various tours (I WILL share all that soon, promise!).
In the lead up to going, in the madness of packing, I had that moment. The one where I thought about maybe not taking my swimmers. I thought about being in a beautiful place, surrounded by beautiful people in bikinis. I thought about the people I knew who would be there, who would probably see me and I actually considered it. Just for a moment.
Thankfully, I’d had a summer’s worth of practice. Even so, I had to get past that mental block again. While it seems so ridiculous, it can be utterly debilitating.
Once I had my swimmers on, I did things I never thought I would and didn’t have even a moment of worrying whether my body was offending those around me. I didn’t think about the other people as I took off my top and then jumped from a boat into the ocean to snorkel for the first time. I didn’t look around to see who might be gazing my way as I swam laps with my children. I didn’t cover my body with my arms as I maneuvered my way to the edge of a platform in ridiculous flippers before flinging myself into the Great Barrier Reef. I didn’t decide to stay on the edge while my kids played in the local Lagoon in favour of keeping my chubby white legs all covered up.
I was too busy enjoying myself. Loving the time spent with my family. Making memories and conquering anxieties. I didn’t think about my body at all or what others were thinking.
I got to thinking; I wasn’t wasting my time looking at them, why do I assume they want to waste their time judging me?
And, I think that’s the key – nobody is really looking and those who are? Their opinion of me is not my business and they are missing out on doing/seeing something amazing in that moment.
It’s lucky that I stepped away from the body shame because in the end, I’m pretty sure most of Airlie Beach saw my boobs at some stage during the stay. Feeding a distracted, starving baby in the heat means it’s not always possible to be completely discreet.
With summer fast approaching, I’m ready to get back into the pool with my kids, will you be donning your swimmers this season?
Linking up with Essentially Jess for #ibot
